Have you noticed that tips 6 and 7 were missing from Part 1?
There is a good reason for that.
So far I have shared 5 essential tips on how you can measure your personal success against what others expect you to be, to have or to achieve (according to their own views on what success is, of course).
However, tips 6 and 7 may require your special attention and this is why I decided to present them separately:
Tip 6. Check if you take care of your own needs on regular basis
People who FEEL successful know they deserve to be treated with care and respect. This includes their own care and respect towards themselves. They give themselves a right to rest when they are tired and not only after they have met a deadline, finished an assignment and have exhausted themselves to a point when they can hardly walk to bed.
They drink when they are thirsty and eat when they are hungry because they know it is vital to their well-being. They do not use missing a meal or favourite activities as punishment. They schedule fun and relaxation regularly. They take breaks. They make time for family and friends. They feel grateful for the tiniest things. They have no problem sharing time and resources with others. They know their boundaries.
Questions you could ask yourself for more clarity:
- How does the concept of taking care of your own needs resonate with you? For example does it feel OK or does it sound selfish and inappropriate?
- How well do you care for your own needs on the scale from 1 to 10 (the highest)? If you score low, where would you like to be and in what time scales?
- If not you, who do you expect to take care of your own needs
a) short-term
b) long-term?
- If your needs have not been met, do you feel you have to find someone to blame for or accuse of neglecting YOUR needs?
Tip 7. Ensure you are comfortable in your own body AS IS here and now
If I told you that part of your overall success could be feeling comfortable, healthy and happy in your own body, what would you say?
Look at yourself in the mirror just as you are, without trying to see yourself through the eyes of other people. How would it feel to look at yourself without HAVING TO judge yourself, out of a habit imposed on you by your cultural and social standards/media/parents/boyfriends/ girlfriends/friends and colleagues/spouses and absorbed in the course of your life?
Who/what would you be without your body?
What wouldn't you be able to do without your
a) hands
b) legs
c) eyes
d) ears
e) any other body part that you find particularly useful?
Fingers crossed for your well-being wherever you are.
Kasia Weiss
www.mindfulcultures.com
